


only the ocean (toes in the sand)

by pen_light



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, M/M, Post-Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, Post-Season/Series 13, Season/Series 13, episode coda, ish, v sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 07:37:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14711876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen_light/pseuds/pen_light
Summary: The ocean rolled, bringing the cool water to Dean’s toes. The sand mixed with the water and then slushed around. The warmth suddenly disappeared as a strikingly cold shiver shot up Dean’s spine. The tide continued to reach forward, enveloping Dean’s ankles and reaching up to his legs.Dean didn’t move. If the tide pulled him in, he’d probably still end up sitting in front of the suddenly depressing beach scene all over again.The water began to splash against his chest. Dean remained still.alt; a coda examining the scene with cas sitting in the bunker, practically teary-eyed, that was meant to fix things but ended up hurting me more





	only the ocean (toes in the sand)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my coda for the spn s13 finale. i just needed to write on THAT scene with cas just sitting with borderline teary eyes. 
> 
> i listened to jack johnson's "only the ocean" while writing this (and the whole to the sea album tbh). i suggest you guys listen to it while reading it as well. 
> 
> this isn't edited because i've been staring at this through two days of migraines and i just needed to get this out. im sorry if there are some mistakes. 
> 
> i hope you enjoy :D

 

 

_After all this time_

_After all of these seasons_

 

Angelic possession isn’t a joyride, not in the way the phrase denotes it. Jimmy Novak’s description, “being chained to a comet”, doesn’t begin to describe the experience. It’s a skull splitting battle against the entire existence surrounding the hidden soul. It’s an unbelievable struggle, one that even a deep breath wouldn’t relieve. 

 

Dean tried. He tried to override Michael. The archangel hadn’t given any warning signs during their fight against Lucifer. Till the last moment, Dean was certain their deal would play out. Then again, Dean thought, why should have it? Defeating Lucifer was only another task on Michael’s bucket list. It was hardly a priority. The archangel had had the pleasure of his first time back in his apocalypse world. What was so special about this fight then? Where was the weight of their deal? 

 

The grace wrapped around Dean, pulling him back. Dean yelled, grunted, screamed, kicking at the power. His vision dimmed as he was taken off away from the steering wheel and strapped into a backseat. 

 

After all the near apocalypses they had evaded over the years, never had Dean expected life to make a full circle and recreate the very situation that, in a sense, started it all. It’s quite dejecting—avoiding something for years, forgetting about it, and then accepting it without so much of a second thought. 

 

Even though it was needed and he understood the repercussions, Dean couldn’t help but lament the decision as he was torn away from his body. He began to think if there had been another way to defeat Lucifer and save the world. 

 

Dean let go of the fight in himself when he heard Sam’s breathy, defeated voice. “Michael…”

 

_After your own decision to go to the water for a reason_

 

But there wasn’t, was there? At the moment, the only option was weaponization. And hence, destiny called— Dean became the Michael sword.

 

There was a flap of wings followed by an avalanche of silence. 

 

Now it was only him and the archangel.

 

_It's only the ocean and you_

 

 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾

 

 

_And all of these lines_

_Will all be erased soon_

 

Castiel hadn’t moved. When Dean left, flying with the dreaded flutter of wings, Castiel fell to the floor. Ever since, he hadn’t moved. 

 

_They go out with the tide_

_And come back with the waves so_

 

A part of him wanted to. He wanted to fly, fly to Dean, Sam, and Jack. Fly to the battle and protect his family. He wanted to fly so no one else would ever have to.

 

The only wings Castiel had were hope. But when Dean said yes, strangely, he lost those as well. 

 

Hanging onto a skeleton, Castiel waited. Not moving and alone.

 

_It's only the ocean and you_

 

 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾

 

 

_You don't want_

_You don't wait_

 

Dean looked up. It was strange, not being a physical entity. It was strange, being caged in his own body, his own mind. No one was present to listen. No one but himself. His thoughts (or words, at this point, it was hard to distinguish between the two) were left on their own, stagnant in the still air about and around. 

 

Dean looked down. 

 

The beachside was beautiful. It was elegant, ethereal, everything that the hunter had ever dreamed of. 

 

The blues of the sky danced with the deep blues of the ocean. They didn’t clash or mix, existing in a mutual euphony. So similar but so different, and so beautiful all at once. Ethereal in its familiarity. 

 

The sand was warm. Exactly how Dean had imagined it. It was soothing, the sensations traveling up the legs and the spine, relaxing each muscle group as the warmed shivers traveled to Dean’s head. The small granules shifted between Dean’s toes, adapting to the shape and movement constantly. 

 

The wind was gentle and caring—brushing against Dean’s face and flowing by, causing the hunter to sway just a tiny bit. It was this in which Dean found himself completely losing himself, allowing his body to move along with the elements. 

 

It was everything Dean had dreamed of. Then again, perhaps it was just a dream. It was the landscape Michael had decided to throw Dean in within his mind. What Dean couldn’t figure out if it was out of mercy or cruelty. 

 

_You don't love oh, but you don't hate_

 

Not that it mattered. 

 

Sam and Castiel weren’t there. There was no one for miles and miles on each end. The beach was empty amid the one, poor, defeated soul sitting on the shore. What should’ve been an experience of laughs and smiles with love and romance was stained with the experience of loneliness and anguish. 

 

_You just roll over me_

 

The ocean rolled, bringing the cool water to Dean’s toes. The sand mixed with the water and then slushed around. The warmth suddenly disappeared as a strikingly cold shiver shot up Dean’s spine. The tide continued to reach forward, enveloping Dean’s ankles and reaching up to his legs. 

 

Dean didn’t move. If the tide pulled him in, he’d probably still end up sitting in front of the suddenly depressing beach scene all over again. 

 

The water began to splash against his chest. Dean remained still. 

 

_And you pull me in_

 

 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾

 

 

_When this work is done_

 

Castiel didn’t move when he felt the fight give and Dean disappear. He exhaled, falling even more into the beam against which he was leaning. He didn’t move when he lost track of Michael’s presence. He certainly winced when that vanishing act followed the flap of large, majestic wings, but other than that, Castiel didn’t move. 

 

Sam and Jack were still left wherever it was they were holed in. Eventually, Castiel was going to have to stand up and take the keys to a car and drive his way around to his family. Eventually, but not currently. So he waited. 

 

Mary and Bobby entered the bunker and Castiel couldn’t do much but shake his head. Sure, the old fight was won, but the newer one had begun on a losing streak. 

 

Sam’s prayer interrupted Castiel’s thoughts briefly. The angel couldn’t help but let it gloss over. He was still reeling. All he could make of it was “Jack’s fine”, “Lucifer’s dead”, and “Dean’s gone”. 

 

_And this cold is dry_

 

They had been so close. So goddamn close. To victory. To a conclusion. To happiness. Dean was hoping again, Sam was sleeping, and Castiel was feeling loved (by himself and others). Jack was a little broken, but the three of them were trying, they were trying their best to get him through it. Jack was basking in the guidance of love by three Winchesters and a whole camp. 

 

The beach, Castiel suddenly thought. He took in a deep breath. Dean wanted to be at the beach. After it all, Dean was going to take them to the beach. It’s a dream the angel knew the hunter had kept to his heart for years. 

 

Castiel sighed, looking up. Angelic possession wasn’t fun. With Lucifer, Castiel had locked himself up in his safe haven, the bunker kitchen, burrowing his consciousness in the droll of the mindless TV dramas he had found himself sinking into during his downfall. The archangel had taken his moments to play around with Castiel, torturing him mentally, taking what was Castiel’s crumbling heart and crushing it beneath the soles of his shoes. 

 

Michael may not be different. Sure, he and Lucifer were labeled opposites, but, if Castiel knew Michael right, the older had the same melancholic desires, taking his pleasure in tormenting “sinners”. 

 

Castiel looked down at his feet, trying to imagine the beach. Dean may not be able to enjoy it just yet, but they will get there eventually. Perhaps the hunter was already at the beach, locked up in that dream of his. 

 

_When this world's too much_

 

He tried to imagine the blues in the skies. The blues in the water. The warmth of the sand. The chills of the breeze. Water was creeping towards him. It reached his toes. It continued to travel higher and higher, hitting Castiel’s chest. 

 

Castiel didn’t move. 

 

_It will be only the ocean and me_

 

 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:☾

 

 

_When these sails go up_

 

The sand slushed. The waves crashed. The blue sky turned into dark. There were no stars. 

 

_Mountains fade away_

 

Castiel closed his eyes. Dean closed his eyes. 

 

_Stars come back_

 

Someday. They’ll get there. 

 

_I'm finally free_

 

But, at that moment… 

 

_It's only the ocean and me_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> welp i hope you liked it! there's more coming soon. 
> 
> i cant wait for season 14 omg
> 
> also, visit me on tumblr! i'm at pen-light.tumblr.com as my writing blog. for my main, feel free to ask! i'll connect that to this account soon soon soon.


End file.
